Nine hundred languages, nine hundred years. Scaring the mundanes ; A history of failure -- John Wilkins and the language of truth. The six-hundred-page rewrite ; A calculus of thought ; A hierarchy of the universe ; The word for "shit" ; Knowing what you mean to say -- Ludwik Zamenhof and the language of peace. A linguistic handshake ; Un nuov glot ; Trouble in Volapükland ; A nudist, a gay ornithologist, a railroad enthusiast, and a punk cannabis smoker walk into a bar ; Crank pride -- Charles Bliss and the language of symbols. Word magic ; Hit by a personality tornado ; Those queer and mysterious Chinese characters ; The spacemen speak ; The catastrophic results of her ignorance -- James Cooke Brown and the language of logic. The Whorfian hypothesis ; A formula for success ; Suitable apologies ; Meaning quicksand ; To menstruate joyfully -- The Klingons, the Conlangers, and the art of language. Flaws or features? ; The go-to linguist ; What are they doing? ; The secret vice -- Appendix A. The list of languages ; Appendix B. Language samples.
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