"My name is Failure. Timmy Failure. I am the founder, president, and CEO of the best detective agency in town, probably the nation. The book you are holding is a historical record of my life as a detective. It has been rigorously fact-checked. All the drawings in here are by me. I tried to get my business partner to do the illustrations, but they were not good. This book, and my life, are the inspiration for a new movie, Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made. It's true. Now, in addition to being the best detective in town, probably the nation, I am also a movie star. My greatness knows no bounds."--Back cover.
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