Children Are from Heaven -- Every Child Has His or Her Own Unique Problems -- The Five Messages of Positive Parenting -- A Vision of Possibilities -- What Makes the Five Messages Work -- The Pressure of Parenting -- Reinventing Parenting -- A Short History of Parenting -- Violence in, Violence out -- Why Children Become Unruly and Disruptive -- A Global Shift in Consciousness -- New Skills to Create Cooperation -- Ask, but Don't Order or Demand -- Use "Would You" And Not "Could You" -- Give up Rhetorical Questions -- Be Direct -- Give up Explanations -- Give up Giving Lectures -- Don't Use Feelings to Manipulate -- The Magic Word to Create Cooperation -- A Short Review and Practice -- What to Do When Children Resist -- New Skills to Minimize Resistance -- Four Skills to Minimize Resistance -- The Four Temperaments -- Sensitive Children Need Listening and Understanding -- Active Children Need Preparation and Structure -- Responsive Children Need Distraction and Direction -- The Gift of Singing -- Making Chores Fun -- The Gift of Reading -- Using Distraction to Redirect -- Receptive Children Need Ritual and Rhythm -- Loving Rituals -- Practical Rituals -- Giving Our Children What They Need -- New Skills for Improving Communication -- Why Children Resist -- Taking Time to Listen -- The Two Conditions -- Hard-Love Parenting -- Soft-Love Parenting -- Learning to Delay Gratification -- Meeting Your Children's Needs -- New Skills for Increasing Motivation -- A Short Update on Punishment -- Why and When Punishment Worked -- The Positive Side of Punishment -- The Simple Proof -- The Alternative to Punishment Is Reward -- The Two Reasons a Child Misbehaves -- Why Giving Rewards Works -- Negative Acknowledgments -- Catching Your Child Being Good or Doing the Right Thing -- The Magic of Rewards -- Why Children Resist Our Direction -- Understanding Rewards -- Rewards According to Temperaments -- Sample Rewards -- Always Have Something up Your Sleeve -- A List of Rewards -- Recurring Patterns -- Rewarding Teenagers -- Dealing with a Demanding Child in Public -- Rewards Are Like Dessert -- Learning from Natural Consequences -- The Fear of Rewards -- New Skills for Asserting Leadership -- Learning How to Command -- Don't Use Emotions to Command -- It's Okay to Make Mistakes -- When Emotions Are not Helpful -- Yelling Doesn't Work -- Make Your Commands Positive -- Command but Don't Explain -- Commanding Teenagers -- Reasons and Resistance -- A Better Way of Commanding -- Increasing Cooperation -- Choosing Your Battles -- New Skills for Maintaining Control -- The Need for Time Out -- How Negative Feelings Get Released -- The Ideal Time Out -- Explaining Time Outs -- Four Common Mistakes -- Too Much Time Out -- Not Enough Time Out -- Adjusting Your Will Versus Caving In -- Expecting Your Child to Sit Quietly -- Using Time Out as Punishment -- Hugging Dad -- When to Give Time Out -- Three Strikes and You Are Out -- When Time Out Doesn't Work -- What Makes the Five Skills Work -- It's Okay to Be Different -- Gender Differences -- Different Needs for Trust and Caring -- Continuing to Trust and Care -- Boys Are from Mars, Girls Are from Venus -- Mr. Fix-It -- Mrs. Home Improvement -- When Advice Is Good -- Boys Forget and Girls Remember -- Different Generations -- The Culture of Violence -- Different Temperaments -- How Temperaments Tranform -- Afternoon Activities -- Different Body Types -- Different Intelligence -- Academic Intelligence -- Emotional Intelligence -- Physical Intelligence -- Creative Intelligence -- Artistic Intelligence -- Common Sense Intelligence -- Intuitive Intelligence -- Gifted Intelligence -- Different Speeds of Learning -- Good Here but Not Good There -- Comparing Children -- It's Okay to Make Mistakes -- From Innocence to Responsibility -- Whose Fault Is it Anyway? -- Learning Responsibility -- Hardwired to Self-Correct -- Your Child's Learning Curve -- Understanding Repetition -- Learning from Mistakes -- Learning to Make Amends -- Don't Punish, Make Adjustments -- How to React When Children Make a Mistake -- Doing Your Best Is Good Enough -- When it Is Not Okay to Make Mistakes -- Hiding Mistakes and Not Telling the Truth -- Children of Divorced Parents -- Not Setting High Standards or Taking Risks -- Justifying Mistakes or Blaming Others -- Teens at Risk -- Low Self-Esteem and Self-Punishment -- Making it Okay to Make Mistakes -- It's Okay to Express Negative Emotions -- The Importance of Managing Feelings -- Learning to Manage Feelings -- Coping with Loss -- Why Expressing Emotion Helps -- The Power of Empathy -- The Five Second Pause -- When Children Resist Empathy -- When Parents Express Negative Emotions -- The Mistake of Sharing Feelings -- Asking Children How They Feel -- What You Suppress, Your Children Will Express -- The Black Sheep of the Family -- Making Negative Emotions Okay -- It's Okay to Want More -- The Fears About Desire -- The Virtues of Gratitude -- Permission to Negotiate -- Learning to Say No -- Ten Ways to Say No -- Asking for More -- Modeling How to Ask -- The Power of Asking -- Giving Too Much -- Children Will Always Want More -- Children of Divorced Parents -- The Longing of the Human Spirit -- It's Okay to Say No, but Mom and Dad Are the Bosses -- How Parents Affect Their Children -- Coping with Negative Emotions -- The Development of Cognitive Abilities -- Children's Need for Reassurance -- Children Have a Different Memory -- Coping with Increased Will -- Balancing Freedom and Control -- Two Problems of Losing Control -- The Nine-Year Stages of Maturity -- The Development of Responsibility -- Understanding the Generation Line -- Divorce and the Generation Line -- Controlling Your Preteens and Teens -- Using the Internet to Improve Communication -- Getting Support from Other Parents -- Putting the Five Messages into Practice -- Mothers and Daughters -- Fathers and Daughters -- Mothers and Sons -- Fathers and Sons -- Teens Secretly Appreciate Limits -- What to Do When Your Child Takes Drugs -- Dealing with Disrespectful Language -- Permission to Speak Freely -- Making Decisions -- The Cycles of Seven -- Why Teens Rebel -- Improving Communication with Teens -- Respect Your Teen's Opinions -- Sending Your Teen Away -- Instead of "Don't" Use "I Want" -- Asking Your Children What They Think -- The Challenge of Parenting -- The Gifts of Greatness.
|
