Preface: Looking over the edge -- Introduction -- Part one. Growing up the hard way -- An oasis of love -- An indecent proposal -- Playing with fire -- He ain't heavy -- The salvation of sports -- Looking for a little relief -- My two selves -- The drug business -- Hurting myself -- Part two. Trying to build a better life -- Moving out, moving on, moving back -- Falling in love -- Go west -- Getting married -- Country John Saunders -- Chasing a new dream -- Making it in Moncton -- Bright lights, big city -- Big man in Baltimore -- A family of my own -- The worldwide leader -- Our sister -- Livin' in America -- Part three. The façade cracks -- The psych ward -- Dr. Dangerous -- Falling backward -- Scaling Mt. Sinai -- Learning to walk -- A high-stakes stroll in the park -- Ready for prime time? -- Testing, testing -- Part four. Collision course -- The damage of Doctor Dangerous revealed -- Let the bad times roll -- Stumbling toward unhappiness -- A day in the doldrums -- Peering over the Tappan Zee Bridge -- Back to the bridge -- Crunch time -- You've got to admit it's getting better -- Jimmy V, Dickie V, and cardio V -- Learning the best lesson.
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