The problem : Sort out the three conversations -- Shift to a learning stance : The "what happened?" conversation ; Stop arguing about who's right : explore each other's stories ; Don't assume they meant it : disentangle intent from impact ; Abandon blame : map the contribution system : The feelings conversation ; Have your feelings (or they will have you) : The identity conversation ; Ground your identity : ask yourself what's at stake -- Create a learning conversation : What's your purpose? When to raise it and when to let it go ; Getting started : begin from the third story ; Learning : listen from the inside out ; Expression : speak for yourself with clarity and power ; Problem-solving : take the lead ; Putting it all together -- A road map ti difficult conversations -- A not on some relevant organizations.
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