Hello, Slattern -- Getting Dressed: How to Properly Hide Your Shame -- Bowels into Buckets: Nature Is an Obscene Caller -- The Treacherous Art of Bathing -- Menstruation: You're Doing It Wrong -- Diet: You're a Little Bag of Pudding -- Beauty: Scorch, Slather. and Stuff -- Courtship: Not-Talking Your Way into His Heart -- The Wedding Night, or: a Bad Bit of Bumbo -- Birth Control and Other Affronts to God -- Being a Good Wife: How to Avoid His Eventual Resentment for as Long as Possible -- Running a Proper Household: The Gentle Art of Dictatorship -- Public Behavior: Avoiding Scorn, Dangers, and Museums -- It's Hysterical: The LEast Funny Thing About Victorian Life -- The Secret Vice: "Where Warts and Tiny Nipples Come From" -- Conclusion: I Miss Pants -- Acknowledgments -- Bibliography.
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