This is the author's memoir about gender and parenting, including incredible interviews discussing gender, how families are shaped, and the difficulties and wonders of being human. A father for ten years, a mother for eight, and for a time in between, neither, or both ("the parental version of the schnoodle, or the cockapoo"), she has seen parenthood from both sides of the gender divide. When her two children were young, she came out as transgender, and as she transitioned from a man to a woman and from a father to a mother, her family faced unique challenges and questions. In this memoir, she asks what it means to be a father, or a mother, and to what extent gender shades our experiences as parents. "It is my hope," she writes, "that having a father who became a woman in turn helped my sons become better men." Through both her own story and incredibly insightful interviews with others, including Richard Russo, Edward Albee, Ann Beattie, Augusten Burroughs, Susan Minot, Trey Ellis, Timothy Kreider, and more, she examines relationships with fathers and mothers, people's memories of the children they were and the parents they became, and the many different ways a family can be. Followed by an Afterword by Anna Quindlen that includes the author and her wife discussing the challenges they have faced and the love they share. This is a brilliant meditation on raising and on being a child.
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