Book

Piven, Joshua.

The complete worst-case scenario survival handbook / by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht ; with contributions by Jim Grace, Sarah Jordan, Piers Marchant, and Jennifer Worick ; illustrations by Brenda Brown.

San Francisco, Calif. : Chronicle Books, ©2007.

507 pages : illustrations ; 19 cm + 1 CD-ROM (4 3/4 in.)

Complemented by a searchable CD-ROM containing the entire contents of all eleven handbooks, as well as screensavers, e-cards, and wallpaper, a deluxe reference offers a host of practical remedies for every conceivable crisis, from mountain lions and blind dates to avalanches, teenage driving lessons, and Christmas turkeys on fire.

Survival.

Life skills -- Handbooks, manuals, etc.

Handbooks and manuals.

Borgenicht, David.

Brown, Brenda, 1944- illustrator.

Worst-case scenario survival handbook

"Includes searchable CD with all 11 handbooks plus wallpapers, screensaver, and more"--Cover

Includes bibliographical references.

Animal encounters. How to fend off a shark ; How to deal with escaped lobsters ; How to escape from a giant octopus ; How to free your fish if stuck in tank decorations ; How to survive a poisonous snake attack ; How to deal with a bird trapped in your house ; How to detangle a bird caught in your hair ; How to escape from a mountain lion ; How to wrestle free from an alligator ; How to deal with an alligator near your golf ball ; How to survive an elephant stampede ; How to escape from a stampede of giraffes ; How to escape from a charging rhino ; How to control a runaway camel ; How to deal with a deer in your headlights ; How to fend off a charging reindeer ; How to protect your dog in a sudden rainstorm ; How to remove a tick ; How to save your cat from choking ; How to escape from an angry gorilla ; How to escape from a bear ; How to escape from killer bees ; How to catch fish without a rod ; How to remove a fishhook from flesh ; How to remove a leech ; How to treat a scorpion sting ; How to cross a piranha-infested river ; How to spot a rabid animal -- Great escapes. How to jump from rooftop to rooftop ; How to jump from a building into a dumpster ; How to jump from a moving train ; How to jump from a bridge or cliff into a river ; How to survive if your parachute fails to open ; How to get to the surface if your scuba tank runs out of air ; How to retrieve a candy bar stuck in the lunchroom vending machine ; How to free yourself from a coat hook ; How to survive a boring class ; How to survive if caught passing a note in class ; How to hide things in your dorm room ; How to survive a shattered/collapsing basketball backboard ; How to survive a fall onto subway tracks ; How to survive being car-doored on a bicycle ; How to survive a high-rise hotel fire ; How to break down a door ; How to evade a stampede of shoppers ; How to escape from a collapsed sofa bed ; How to free your leg from a bear trap ; How to escape from a car hanging over the edge of a cliff ; How to stop a car with no brakes ; How to stop a runaway golf cart ; How to escape from a sinking car ; How to escape from the trunk of a car ; How to escape when tied up ; How to escape from a bad date ; How to thwart an affectionate costumed mascot ; How to foil a UFO abduction ; How to survive in a plummeting elevator ; How to sneak out of a meeting ; How to survive if trapped in the workplace ; How to survive if you are buried alive ; How to escape from quicksand ; How to survive a riot -- Illness and injury. How to fall down a flight of stairs ; How to survive falling through a floor ; How to take a punch ; How to take a bullet ; How to survive a rollover in a car ; How to survive an airplane crash ; How to perform a tracheotomy ; How to survive a flu pandemic ; How to treat food poisoning ; How to identify unsafe cafeteria food ; How to cure insomnia ; How to deal with "the spins" ; How to treat the hiccups ; How to treat frostbite ; How to treat a tongue stuck to a pole ; How to deal with wedding-related injuries ; How to see if you have lost your glasses.

Social disasters. How to avoid going to the wrong college ; How to open a bottle without an opener ; How to carry a date who is passed out ; How to survive if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't remember ; How to determine if your date is an axe murderer ; How to determine the gender of your date ; How to fend off a pickup artist ; How to save your date from choking ; How to survive if you have excessive gas ; How to survive a workplace romance ; How to survive meeting the parents ; How to raise money for your wedding ; How to maintain composure during a wedding ceremony ; How to repair a dropped wedding cake ; How to deal with a screaming baby on an airplane ; How to survive a family car trip ; How to identify a nightmare workplace ; How to get a job you're not qualified for ; How to survive awkward elevator silence ; How to deal with a nightmare boss ; How to deal with a nightmare co-worker ; How to tee off in front of a crowd ; How to thwart a golf cheat ; How to disarm an irate golfer ; How to cure a golf addiction ; How to disguise a beer belly ; How to put out a grease fire ; How to extinguish a Christmas tree fire ; How to make an emergency menorah ; How to deal with a bad gift ; How to repurpose a fruitcake ; How to fit into clothing that is too tight ; How to silence Christmas carolers ; How to survive if you have no one to kiss on New Year's Eve -- Domestic dangers. How to deal with wedding-night jitters ; How to survive a honeymoon disaster ; How to survive if you forget your anniversary ; How to get your baby to sleep ; How to babyproof the house ; How to survive baby-gear overload ; How to break into your car if your baby is locked inside ; How to make your child eat vegetables ; How to track your teenager's movements ; How to survive empty-nest syndrome ; How to survive if your child moves back in -- Out and about. How to steer your bike down a rock face ; How to land a hang glider in a wind shear ; How to land a plane ; How find water on a deserted island ; How to open a coconut on a desert island ; How to make a fire without matches ; How to survive when lost in the jungle ; How to drink water from a vine ; How to leave a trail for rescuers if you are lost in the wilderness ; Last-ditch liquids you can drink ; Last-ditch foods you can eat ; How to survive if you are stranded on an iceberg ; How to drive in a blizzard ; How to survive when stuck on an opening drawbridge ; How to deliver a baby in a taxicab Social disasters. How to avoid going to the wrong college ; How to open a bottle without an opener ; How to carry a date who is passed out ; How to survive if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't remember ; How to determine if your date is an axe murderer ; How to determine the gender of your date ; How to fend off a pickup artist ; How to save your date from choking ; How to survive if you have excessive gas ; How to survive a workplace romance ; How to survive meeting the parents ; How to raise money for your wedding ; How to maintain composure during a wedding ceremony ; How to repair a dropped wedding cake ; How to deal with a screaming baby on an airplane ; How to survive a family car trip ; How to identify a nightmare workplace ; How to get a job you're not qualified for ; How to survive awkward elevator silence ; How to deal with a nightmare boss ; How to deal with a nightmare co-worker ; How to tee off in front of a crowd ; How to thwart a golf cheat ; How to disarm an irate golfer ; How to cure a golf addiction ; How to disguise a beer belly ; How to put out a grease fire ; How to extinguish a Christmas tree fire ; How to make an emergency menorah ; How to deal with a bad gift ; How to repurpose a fruitcake ; How to fit into clothing that is too tight ; How to silence Christmas carolers ; How to survive if you have no one to kiss on New Year's Eve -- Domestic dangers. How to deal with wedding-night jitters ; How to survive a honeymoon disaster ; How to survive if you f orget your anniversary ; How to get your baby to sleep ; How to babyproof the house ; How to survive baby-gear overload ; How to break into your car if your baby is locked inside ; How to make your child eat vegetables ; How to track your teenager's movements ; How to survive empty-nest syndrome ; How to survive if your child moves back in -- Out and about. How to steer your bike down a rock face ; How to land a hang glider in a wind shear ; How to land a plane ; How find water on a deserted island ; How to open a coconut on a desert island ; How to make a fire without matches ; How to survive when lost in the jungle ; How to drink water from a vine ; How to leave a trail for rescuers if you are lost in the wilderness ; Last-ditch liquids you can drink ; Last-ditch foods you can eat ; How to survive if you are stranded on an iceberg ; How to drive in a blizzard ; How to survive when stuck on an opening drawbridge ; How to deliver a baby in a taxicab ; How to deal with a canceled flight ; How to survive a filthy hotel room ; How to survive a two-wave hold-down ; How to survive sand in your swimsuit ; How to survive a riptide ; How to survive a tsunami -- Appendix. The "it's not you, it's me" letter ; How to tell your parents you've been expelled ; How to pad a resume ; Jargon bingo ; The "there is no Santa Claus" speech ; The "bird-and-bees" speech.

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