1. Bringing up the subject -- The art of conversation -- Beyond either/or -- The pre-talk talk -- What could they be thinking? -- Stage one : breaking the ice -- Stage two : organizing a family meeting -- Stage three : the actual talk -- Caregiving at a distance -- Sibling rivalry, take two -- Resources -- Sidebars -- 'May you live long and prosper' -- Who are the caregivers? -- Life story : decisions for the future -- Caring coupons -- First person : the best-laid plans -- Practically speaking -- Geriatric care managers -- 2. Your parent's best advocate -- Old family scripts -- The organized advocate -- Managing health care -- Hospital bills and insurance claims -- Dealing with nursing homes -- Scam alert -- Lawyering up -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Laying the groundwork -- First person : when things fall apart -- Questions for the doctor -- Decoding a prescription -- A patient's bill of rights -- Coping with hospital bills -- A nursing home resident's bill of rights -- Shred, don't toss -- 3. Money matters -- Sizing up the situation -- And the bottom line is ... -- Things look good for now, what's next? -- The question of long-term care -- Do your homework -- Reality knocks -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Key questions -- Should you worry? -- Making ends meet (sort of) -- Be a fraud detector -- Choosing a financial planner -- Long-term care insurance costs -- First person : across the cultural divide.
4. The body -- What is 'normal aging?' -- Choosing a doctor -- A pound of prevention -- The changing senses -- Common ailments -- Didn't sleep a wink -- Resources -- Sidebars -- The magic call button -- The 'I' word -- A test in time -- Life story : mountain man -- Preventing falls -- Life story : the unsinkable Wally Ristow -- Warnings signs 1 -- Warning signs 2 -- Getting some shut-eye -- 5. The brain -- The truth about depression -- No turning back -- 'Everything has an air of strangeness' -- The road ahead -- Resources -- Sidebars -- First person : my father's blog -- Signs of depression -- Is it Alzheimer's? -- Brain attack! -- Practical strategies : routine therapy -- Design for living with dementia -- Practical strategies : at the crossroads -- 6. The Medicare maze -- The ABCDs of Medical -- Medicare part A : hospital insurance -- Medicare part B : medical insurance -- Medicare part C : Medicare advantage -- Medicare part D : prescription drug benefit -- Filling the (medi)gap -- Blinded by the fine print -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Are your parents covered? -- Names & numbers you'll need -- Check list of choices -- Practical strategies : how to decipher a summary notice -- Who you gonna call?
7. Living arrangements -- Staying put -- Day-tripping -- Making room for mom or dad -- Independent living 101 -- When a nursing home makes sense -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Who lives where -- How safe is your parent's home? -- First person : tradition vs. reality -- Life story : Sister Donna -- 8. Caring for the caregiver -- The hidden patients -- The stress factor -- Making yourself a priority -- Lightening the load -- Give the pros a chance -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Taking a breath -- Rewrite your inner script -- Share the care -- Life story : the art of self-preservation -- Finding clarity -- Choosing adult day center programs -- 9. Saying good-bye -- A new intimacy -- Making arrangements ahead of time -- Achieving closure -- The hospice solution -- Getting down to 'what was good' -- Resources -- Sidebars -- Managing pain -- Choosing hospice care -- First person : letting go -- As the end nears -- First person : 'time to go to Balfron?' -- The last details -- 10. The alchemy of sorrow -- The phases of grief -- Variations on a theme -- Yourself and others -- The virtue of ritual -- The stages of healing -- A new shape to life -- Resources -- Sidebars -- When to seek help -- The one left behind -- Children and grief -- Facing the holidays -- Practical strategies : grieving well -- First person : rock-a-bye baby -- Afterword / Elinor Ginzler -- Appendix -- Glossary.
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