Getting started -- Introduction -- Learning to parent our children and ourselves -- The hunger for stimulation, recognition, and certainty -- Nurture : the gentle side of care --- Nurture -- what it is and why we need it -- Nurture chart -- Assertive care and supportive care : alike but different -- Life examples of the nurture chart -- When love doesn't stick -- Nurturing other adults and ourselves -- Structure : the firm side of care -- Structure -- what it is and why we need it -- Structure chart -- Negotiable and nonnegotiable rules : using rules as structure tools -- The lessons of discipline -- Life examples of the structure chart -- The Nurture/structure highway -- When parents disagree about rules -- Structure, shame, and victim blame -- Growing up again -- a story of change -- Overindulgence : misguided nurture, inadequate structure -- Overindulgence -- The hazards of overindulgence -- Why parents overindulge -- What to do instead of overindulging -- Alternatives to overindulging chart -- Denial : the glue that keeps us stuck -- How we deny : the four levels of discounting -- Discounting chart -- Examples of the four levels of discounting -- Stop discounting, chart 2 -- Stop the many ways of discounting -- Double-bind discounting, chart 3 -- Problem solving : putting it all together -- Problem-solving worksheet -- The prenatal and birth experience -- Becoming : the prenatal and birth experience -- Growing up again and again -- Ages and stages -- Prenatal (becoming : conception to birth -- Stage 1 (being) : birth to six months -- Stage 2 (doing) : six months to eighteen months -- Stage 3 (thinking) : eighteen months to three years -- stage 4 (identity and power) : three years to six years -- Stage 5 (structure) : six years to twelve years -- Stage 6 (identity, sexuality, and separation) : twelve years to nineteen years -- Stage 7 (interdependence) : adults -- Stage 8 (integration) : towards death -- General activities for deliberately growing up again -- Adoption -- Adoption -- Adoption development chart -- Tools for family growth -- Even and uneven parenting -- Using contracts -- Sample rules chart -- Getting free of double binds -- Encouraging responsibility through language -- Supporting spiritual growth through the early development stages -- Tools for personal growth -- Developmental affirmations : how to use them with your family and yourself -- Seeing our own shields : a visualization -- Where to go for additional help.
|
