1. The basics of discipline -- Positive versus negative discipline -- How discipline affects your relationship -- Classical conditioning in a nutshell -- Instructional versus correctional responses -- Understanding instruction -- Giving correction -- Principles of correction -- 2. The difficulty of disciplining -- Your attitude matters -- Guidance for the future -- Risking resentment -- Pressure to be perfect -- Keeping priorities in order -- 3. The limits of parental control -- Parental influence in perspective -- Extent of parental responsibility -- Cooperation required -- To change your child, change yourself -- Getting out of negative cycles -- Building blocks of cooperation -- Attention problems -- Discipline through medication -- 4. The principle of consent -- Working for consent -- Acknowledging consent -- Seeing the big picture -- Compromising to get consent -- Handling frustration -- Techniques for managing your anger -- The power of choice -- Internal locus of control -- 5. Communicating with courtesy -- Dignity of personhood -- Power of discourtesy -- Discipline of apologizing -- Discipline of forgiveness -- Communicating the wrong message -- Adjusting for growth cycles -- 6. Dealing with differences -- Different children, different personalities -- Birth order -- Not a chip off the old block -- Two parents, two views -- Giving acceptance versus making demands -- Different genders -- Learning styles -- Danger of "good" and "bad" -- 7. Parental authority -- Parental modeling and example -- Why it's important -- Dangers of not having authority -- Establishing parental authority -- Authority that's positive -- Walking the talk and walking the walk --Ways you communicate authority -- 8. Family rules -- Stemming from worry -- Importance of rules -- Form of security -- Being consistent -- Being inconsistent -- Power of prohibition -- Outside influences -- 9. Raising responsible children -- Two elements -- Teaching responsible behavior -- Model for teaching responsible behavior -- Teaching responsibility -- Teaching two-step thinking -- Readiness for responsibility -- Choice/consequence connection -- Casting off responsibility -- Counting systems -- Earning systems -- John Holt : how children fail and how children learn -- 10. Guidance: the first factor -- Good parents never shut up -- Power of persuasion -- Partnering with your child -- Giving feedback about performance -- Sharing about yourself -- Power of a good talking-to.
11. Supervision: the second factor -- Good parents never give up -- Power of pursuit -- Power of surveillance -- Home alone -- Messy room -- Resisting schoolwork -- 12. Punishment: the third factor -- Violence teaches violence -- Good parents never back off -- Power of enforcement -- Limits of punishment -- External and natural consequences -- Isolation as punishment -- Deprivation as punishment -- Reparation as punishment -- Negative attention trap -- 13. Exchange points: the fourth factor -- Good parents get as well as give -- Power of mutuality -- Someone you can enjoy living with -- Predictable behaviors in parents -- Taking back the initiative -- Being part of the family -- 14. The only child -- Special concerns -- Parental peer pressure -- Emotional enmeshment -- Tyranny of pleasing -- Expectation for return -- Unrealistic standards of performance -- Falling away in adolescence -- 15. Discipline changes with age -- Early childhood (up to age three) -- Late childhood (ages four to eight) -- Transition into adolescence (ages nine to ten) -- Early and midadolescence (ages nine to fifteen) -- Late adolescence (ages eighteen to twenty-three) -- Once a parent, always a parent -- 16. Disciplining the teenager -- Parenting the teenager -- Problem of hurry-up growth -- Readjusting expectations -- Four stages of adolescence -- Substance abuse -- Freedom contract -- 17. Early adolescence (ages nine to thirteen) -- Signs of early adolescence -- Insecurity and low self-esteem -- Separation from childhood -- Negative attitude -- Rebellion -- Early experimentation -- 18. Midadolescence (ages thirteen to fifteen) -- Your adolescent's worldview -- Strains on the relationship -- Shell of self-centeredness -- Avoiding responsibility -- Battle against authority -- Communicating with your teen -- Power of peers -- Adolescent lies -- 19. Late adolescence (ages fifteen to eighteen) -- Learning curve of high school -- Driving a car -- Holding a part-time job -- Teen social scene -- Culture of sex -- Sexual gaming -- Romantic relationships -- What to say about having sex -- Preparing for independence -- Trial independence (ages eighteen to twenty-three) -- 20. Constructive conflict -- Why conflict is necessary -- Nature of conflict -- Dance of conflict -- Tactics to avoid -- Rules for family conflict.
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