That dorky homemade look -- Fear of florals -- Oh, well, no one will notice -- Learning to sew in a parallel universe -- Color theory for quilters -- The genetics of quilting tools -- The naming of quilts -- The rusty ol' tractor ruse -- Quilting outlaw -- My next quilt -- Quilters, sharks, and modern plastics -- The quilting lecture circuit -- The zen of seam ripping -- A great quilting truth of the universe -- Beauty and the beast -- It's a flat world after all -- Blame the quilt -- The third one back on the right -- Just one of the sewing machine repair dudes -- Wallflower quilts -- Porky Pig's place -- The beast -- What's your PQ? -- Yes, but what else do you do? -- Then fabric funny farm -- Make your husband read this -- The quilting quagmire -- The tissue issue -- About the author.
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